Miserable Me

I’ve messed it up before, I’m going to mess it up again,

Repeat that bad behavior, never let myself win,

I wouldn’t chance a laugh, I wouldn’t dare to smile,

If you’re waiting for me to change it’s gonna be a while.

When everything starts going well,

Whenever life starts to jive and gel,

I’ve got to set the dial back to terrible,

I am only happy when I am feeling miserable.

I’m only happy when I’m miserable

I lead my life disgusted

I steal so I get busted

Sit in the rain ‘til I am rusted

I’m only happy when I’m miserable

The pity party in my mind is full of doubt and loathing,

When I want to express myself, I put on my drab clothing,

When I see a glimpse hope I throw it in the grinder,

I grind it into pieces, I serve it as a reminder.

I don’t deserve pleasure or a day down at the beach,

Everything everyone else has is simply out of reach,

The day I get a raise is the day I’m going to quit,

If you try to cheer me up, I’m going to throw a fit.

I’m only happy when I’m miserable

Going to treat myself unkind

Put myself into a bind

Walk around like I am blind

I’m only happy when I’m miserable

They say misery loves company but they don’t know ‘bout me,

I’ll mope around all by myself ‘til you feel bad for me,

It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to see that I’m in danger,

Put me back inside those padded walls where I am not a stranger.

I’ll say what I need to, get back out into the fray,

The problems will keep coming back, that’s the part I play,

You should take me seriously, though I won’t consider you,

I’ll wallow in my misery ‘cause that’s just what I do.

I’m only happy when I’m miserable

Going to cry out an alarm

Maybe do myself some harm

Wrench and twist my own arm

I’m only happy when I’m miserable

By Royce Waxenfelter

7/24/23