Gone

I wonder why you left me, in my pity I reject anyone’s grace

When they tell me it’ll be OK, they’re wrong, they’re just wrapping it in lace

There’s an echo in the hallway, it bounces off the walls throughout the place

I’ve gotta put some socks on ‘cause this cold tile floor sends chills up to my face

And there’s a reason, I just don’t know it

My winter season, and I am frozen

Will I ever be the same? I doubt it very much because I’m full of hate

The emptiness is like a cavern where the wicked demons infiltrate

The day you left I tried to call but your silence seemed to mock my very core

It felt like a knife stab straight into my heart, a pain I can’t ignore

Every now and then I lay out all the fancy dresses that you wore

And I lift them up to wipe away the tears out of my eyes as they pour

And there’s a reason, I just don’t know it

My winter season, and I am frozen

Will I ever be the same? I doubt it very much because I’m bruised and broken

And I haunt myself with all the love for you I know I should’ve spoken

Not a day goes by I don’t feel like your by my side, but then your not

There’s a flower upon the table, it’s drying up and dying in the pot

A symbol of my life without you here, watch my soul slowly rot

I torture myself with pictures of your smile, while my stomach’s in a knot

And there’s a reason, I just don’t know it

My winter season, and I am frozen

Will I ever be the same? I doubt it very much because you’re gone forever

And in my shame I call your name like you are here, a bitter, hopeless, sad endeavor 

I called in sick again today I just can’t seem to face the happy faces there

They walk around like you’re still here, I know the the truth but they don’t seem to care

And if I lose my job it’s just as well, heck, throw me into jail

Maybe there I can escape where others understand how cruel life isn’t fair

There’s a reason, I just don’t know it

My winter season, and I am frozen

Will I ever be the same? I doubt it very much because that is my plight

So I’ll wait in vain when I call your name out sadly in the night

When the call came through I shouted out to her “I don’t believe it’s true!”

I didn’t get to say goodbye and now my world's drenched in a blackened hue

When they lowered you down into the ground I felt like jumping in the grave with you

But since I didn’t now I curse that ground and each and every drop of morning dew

Well there’s a reason, I just don’t know it

My winter season, and I am frozen

Will I ever be the same? I doubt it very much because I cannot sleep 

I suppose I should forgive you but the hurt I feel inside is much too deep

The pastor stopped by yesterday to remind me that you’re gone

As if I needed a reminder but he said something else that didn’t sound so wrong

He said you may be gone but you're in Heaven where you belong

I broke down in tears and made a vow to join you in that great beyond

There’s a reason, now I know it

My winter season, is almost over

Will I ever be the same, I doubt it very much since God provided hope

He threw a lifeline overboard and from the depths I reached to grab the rope

There’s a reason, now I’m singing

My winter season, turned to spring and

I will never be the same, I’ll join you in eternity although you’re gone

You’re not gone forever because forever is our home

By Royce Waxenfelter

5/4/21